i feel so sick

I feel so sick, not sure why, is it because you are here with me or is it because I'm afraid one day that you will go away and I would be left alone and lonely in the same way I was before you walked into my life.
I know I did not say I love you
But it seems I am used to hear you breathing every morning
Do you think that that there is a meaning to all this fear ...
Does it mean that love is reviving and knocking my door again
Will it come pure and fresh, or will be accompanied with torture and overwhelming longing
Will it come to me again carrying the emptiness of the winter and stepping the summer aside
Will you set the cheering spring full of flowers and sun rays, and conquer the depression of the autumn
Knowing that hope may rise, fills my heart with fear,
I am afraid to cling to waiting for you at night, and then you never show up
I am afraid that you will cause me pain
You know, I may fail to lock my emotions
I may be unable to hide my deep need to you and to your existence
You have to make promises before you knock my door,
Be the star that will light up my pitch black night
Be my guidance
Be my everlasting sun shine